Blog Article: 7 Things We Wish We Knew Before Becoming Foster Parents
Foster parenting is a journey filled with surprises, growth, and lessons you won’t find in the guidebooks. To mark National Foster Care Awareness Month, let’s walk through seven invaluable lessons that every prospective foster parent should know before they start.
1. Kids May Arrive with Absolutely Nothing
One of the biggest shocks for many foster parents is realizing that children might come to them with just the clothes on their backs. Our first placement arrived with only a backpack that we weren’t allowed to bring inside. We quickly learned the value of preparing in advance by stocking up on clothing essentials from thrift stores, ready for children of various ages and sizes. This way, we could ensure the kids had what they needed from day one.
2. Expect Little to No Information from Case Workers
When we first began fostering, we prepared a list of questions for each new placement—about allergies, pet fears, and behavior. However, in reality, case workers may know very little, especially if the child is being moved in an emergency. Much of what you learn comes from observation and getting to know the child, filling in gaps for the case manager along the way.
3. Emotional Reactions after Family Visits Are Common
Weekly family visits are often the most difficult aspect of foster care for children. Young kids may struggle to understand why they can only see their parents once a week, leading to emotional outbursts, sadness, and frustration afterward. We learned to expect behavior changes, from anger to anxiety, after these visits. As foster parents, it’s crucial to remain patient and supportive during these times.
4. Collaborate Closely with Case Managers
Foster parents and case managers are all working toward the same goal: supporting the child. While the initial relationship may be challenging, over time, we developed strong bonds with case managers, which positively impacted our foster care experience. Maintaining open, empathetic communication can significantly benefit both the child and your experience as a foster parent.
5. Be Ready for Medical, Educational, and Developmental Needs
Often, children enter foster care needing medical exams, immunizations, dental work, or educational support. In some cases, we had children who required surgeries or psychological evaluations. Even if your time with a child is short, providing these essentials can make a lasting difference in their lives. Many of these expenses are covered by Medicaid, and school support services may also be available.
6. Foster Care Costs Less Than Expected, Thanks to Medicaid and Local Support
Medicaid provides significant coverage for foster children, including medical, dental, vision, and prescriptions. Additionally, in our state, children automatically receive free school meals and daycare coverage. This financial support has made foster parenting more feasible for many families, helping cover essential costs without burdening foster parents.
7. Community Support Will Show Up—Prepare Accordingly
Family, friends, and even neighbors may offer help, from bringing meals to providing toys and clothes. While this generosity is wonderful, it can also overwhelm the children, who are adjusting to a new environment and may feel anxious around too many new faces. Take the time to gauge your foster child’s comfort level and introduce support at a pace that works for them.
Final Thoughts: A Personal Touch for Each Child
One small tip that made a difference in our home was setting up personalized spaces for each child, such as painting canvases with their initials and hanging them by their beds. This small touch helped children feel at home and created a sense of belonging in a new space.
Becoming a foster parent comes with many unexpected challenges and rewards. By sharing our experiences, we hope to offer valuable insights to help others prepare. If you have questions or want to learn more about fostering, we invite you to reach out to us or leave a comment on our YouTube video.
Foster parenting is as much a journey for you as it is for the children. Embrace each lesson and take pride in the small ways you impact each child’s life.
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